Apparently, I’m an “online stalker” and I “hate” someone enough to make their “offline life extremely difficult.” Also, I’m a “tormented soul” and my example will help “teach [her] granddaughter about…bullying.” Seems pretty serious, right? So, what horrible thing did I do? I reported my stepdaughter’s grandmother to the DMV as an unsafe driver.
Stepdaughter’s maternal grandmother has a public blog which I discovered and read. In this blog she mentions some health conditions, including the fact that she has had several seizures. But wait, I’ve seen her driving. She was making the 45 minute drive to and from our house to pick up her granddaughter. So, she’s driving, with a child in the car and a seizure disorder? There’s a reason why the DMV requires that you give up your license when you have seizures. It’s dangerous.
As a health care provider, I feel I have a responsibility to report this knowledge. So, I printed the form on the DMV’s website, filled out the facts as I knew them, and sent it off. I did not make anything up or lie in any way. I simply quoted her own words from her blog. According to this DMV brochure, the reporting process is “completely confidential as required by Florida law.” It wasn’t. I’m not ashamed of what I did, I would have done it even if I wasn’t told it was confidential, but obviously it makes a high-conflict situation even more tense.
So, yes, I did a horrible thing. I told the truth. It wasn’t easy. My stepdaughter’s safety, and the safety of other motorists was my motivation, not hatred. I don’t mind that she is angry with me for reporting her to the DMV. I’m being berated as a horrible person with a vendetta, a bully, a tortured soul and an online stalker. I’m ok with that too. I know better and that’s really all that matters to me.
Kelly RN 
I’ve had to do something similar, i.e. report one of my old best friends to CPS because of things she’d told me about her mental health and situations she’d put her son in.
I lost a friend. But I didn’t feel I had any other choice. It wasn’t out of maliciousness that I did what I did. I did it because I cared and had no idea how else to handle it.
At the end of the day, we’re the ones who have to be okay with our choices and their consequences. What if she had killed someone while driving? I’m really glad you reported this.
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It really is a difficult situation to be in! I agonized over it because I didn’t want to create more drama, but like you said, what if she killed someone and I could have prevented it? I hope your friend’s child was ok. I know you must have also struggled with the decision. You did the right thing! Thank you for reading and commenting.
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You absolutely did the right thing. To NOT report her would have been reckless and dangerous for your stepdaughter and every other person on the roads with her. Thanks for having the courage to step up. So many people don’t.
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Thank you! I certainly had honest intent. It was not to harass or harm anyone.
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If it were me, I would have offered to drive the granddaughter to her. I would have talked to her about my concern.
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Ah, good point. Unfotunately, the relationship between both parties is strained and not one that is open to that type of conversation. Had I expressed my concerns I feel certain it would have only served to create conflict. Honestly, I don’t even know her. As for driving her to her grandmother’s house, it’s a 40 minute (one way) commute. It’s not possible for us to bear the entire burden of that commute. We do half. Aside from that, this was not the only means of transport for my stepdaughter to get to grandma’s house. The child’s mother is able to transport her own child. In any case, it was a difficult, high-conflict situation. I did what I thought best at the time, given the circumstances. Thank you for reading and offering your advice! I apprecite hearing all perspectives.
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